Movie Review: Into the Woods

Into The Woods (2014)



A witch tasks a childless baker and his wife with procuring magical items from classic fairy tales to reverse the curse put on their family tree.  Short synopsis of Into the Woods taken from IMDb.com

I thought "This is a good idea," when Into The Woods began screening on my TV.  But what started as a good idea seemed then to drag itself to death, and bore me in the process.  First of all, I know this is based on some Broadway play or something, and the idea is good, as I said.  But really, there is WAY too much singing going on.  The lyrics are very clever, and the characterizations of the fairy tale folk works nicely, in theory.  But I got tired of the plot very fast.  I thought it was too much of a good thing in places, and so it seemed to overflow its banks and get messy.  The plot needed tightening up.  Or lose a character.  I vote we kick Rapunzel off the island.  She doesn't do anything anyway!

Movie Review: Ouija

Ouija (2014)


A group of friends must confront their most terrifying fears when they awaken the dark powers of an ancient spirit board.  Short synopsis of Ouija taken from IMDb.com

This one looked silly for even a cheap seats ticket, and now that I've seen it as a Redbox rental, I'm glad my instincts haven't entirely failed me.  Ouija, with the tagline "Keep telling yourself it's just a game," was tepid at best.  If you want to skip the rest of this review and hear my pronouncement up front, than here it is: This isn't worth the time.

Movie Review: Jupiter Ascending

Jupiter Ascending (2015)


A young woman discovers her destiny as an heiress of intergalactic nobility and must fight to protect the inhabitants of Earth from an ancient and destructive industry.  Short synopsis of Jupiter Ascending taken from IMDb.com

Jupiter Ascending...  I recall my wife mentioning that she say the trailer for this one during the Super Bowl.  I think it was the Super Bowl.  And she said it looked really good.  So I figured it must be one of the upcoming summer flicks that we'd have no money to go see.  Surprise me when it shows up in February, which is traditionally only rivalled by January as the place where film studios stick their undesirable offerings.

After the film came out in the box office, I read a review saying that it was not that great, and since I have been busy with work and had no real time to take my wife to the movies, I decided to put it off until it finally "ascended" to the local cheap seats.  A week or so ago, I took my wife and my eight year old daughter (she's getting old enough to go to this sort of fare, I suppose - my mom took me to action movies like this when I was around that age, though the content seems more adult than when I was a kid) to the movies.  How did Jupiter do, for me?  Read on and I'll elaborate.

Movie Review: Lucy

Lucy (2014)


A woman, accidentally caught in a dark deal, turns the tables on her captors and transforms into a merciless warrior evolved beyond human logic.  Short synopsis of Lucy taken from IMDb.com  

The review: The same day I watched Gone Girl was the same day I watched Lucy.  In truth, Lucy was the object of my rental money on that day, when I stopped at the Redbox and saw it was available.  My wife had remarked before it released in the box office that she thought it looked good, but was both uncertain about watching an "R" rated film and also wasn't sure she wanted to spend big theater bucks to go see it.  She's the better of the two of us in regards to adult-type fare, on the norm.  There are exceptions (see my review of We're the Millers as an example).

Movie Review: Gone Girl

Gone Girl (2014)


With his wife's disappearance having become the focus of an intense media circus, a man sees the spotlight turned on him when it's suspected that he may not be innocent.    Short synopsis of Gone Girl taken from IMDb.com   

The review:  I saw the trailer for this one when I went to the cheap seats to see Fury, and thought "Hmmm...  That looks mildly interesting."  So when I stopped by the Redbox on my way home from work on a Saturday afternoon, and they flashed that, "Wait, you can get another rental today for only fifty cents more"-bit, I decided to try it.  When I started to watch the film, I noted the part at the beginning where the content rating info is shown, and the list of reasons why it was rated that way.  I hadn't placed the film as being an "R" rating when I got it from the box, and I thought to myself, "Oh my."  We've got strong sexual stuff, nudity, language and graphic violence. 

Dual Review: The Host (book and movie)

Dual Review: The Host: A Novel, by Stephanie Meyer

Source: Amazon.com

First off, I'll cover The Host in novel form, and then move to the movie.

From the book’s cover:

Melanie Stryder refuses to fade away. The earth has been invaded by a species that take over the minds of human hosts while leaving their bodies intact. Wanderer, the invading "soul" who has been given Melanie's body, didn't expect to find its former tenant refusing to relinquish possession of her mind.

As Melanie fills Wanderer's thoughts with visions of Jared, a human who still lives in hiding, Wanderer begins to yearn for a man she's never met. Reluctant allies, Wanderer and Melanie set off to search for the man they both love.

Featuring one of the most unusual love triangles in literature, THE HOST is a riveting and unforgettable novel about the persistence of love and the essence of what it means to be human.

Movie Review: We're the Millers

We're the Millers (2013)



A veteran pot dealer creates a fake family as part of his plan to move a huge shipment of weed into the U.S. from Mexico.  Short synopsis of We're the Millers taken from IMDb.com

My wife commented halfway through this that there were parts of We're the Millers that were painful to watch (she despises scenes in shows/films in which people act asinine or ridiculously cliche), but the rest of it was so funny that she was enjoying it.  I think that is a pretty decent summation of We're the Millers.  Parts of the film are ridiculous, but other parts are so genuinely comedic that they near make up the difference.

Movie Review: The Wolverine

The Wolverine (2013)

When Wolverine is summoned to Japan by an old acquaintance, he is embroiled in a conflict that forces him to confront his own demons.  Short synopsis of The Wolverine taken from IMDb.com

You know, I actually didn't hate this movie.  I thought I would at the most take pity on it, but no.  I thought the juxtaposition of martial arts Asian film with the mutants of X-Men would be a weird mix, but The Wolverine actually didn't come off too bad here.  Sure, it was predictable.  When the little red-headed future-seeing Japanese girl (Logan's bodyguard, she styled herself) said that she hadn't foreseen the old man's death, it was obvious he was gonna end up being a bad guy.  Had he not been?  Now THAT would have been a surprise, and a really decent red-herring.  But then it didn't come off as too much of a "oh please" moment when he was revealed, so it turned out OK.

Movie Review: Transcendence

Transcendence (2014)


A scientist's drive for artificial intelligence, takes on dangerous implications when his consciousness is uploaded into one such program.  Short synopsis of Transcendence taken from IMDb.com  

What can I say about Transcendence?  So many good ideas, but the execution feels a bit stiff.  The plot point idea of nanobots getting into the water supply and taking over everyone on the planet was actually really cool, but it was so under-stated that I thought it was almost better than the way the filmmakers went instead.  In fact, that idea is getting its own note in my idea file, simply because it was worth thinking on further.

Movie Review: Zero Dark Thirty

Zero Dark Thirty (2012)

A chronicle of the decade-long hunt for al-Qaeda terrorist leader Osama bin Laden after the September 2001 attacks, and his death at the hands of the Navy S.E.A.L. Team 6 in May 2011.  Short synopsis of Zero Dark Thirty taken from IMDb.com 

There isn't too much I can say about Zero Dark Thirty.  It is dark, both figuratively and literally.  The scenes at the end especially, the ones most people paid their ticket to see, are very hard to see.  I refer to the climactic scenes in which the U.S. troops infiltrate the Bin Laden compound.  We cut back and forth between the green glow of night vision from the Navy SEALS point of views, and the near blackness of night time operations in Pakistan, where the compound was located.  Maybe in the theater it was easier to see the action, but on my old Sony Trinitron TV (circa early 2000s, back when we had money and an awesomely good credit score), it was flashes of movement on an otherwise black screen.  The only way I could be sure things were actually going on, and thus be sure the filmmaker hadn't run out of money and just stuck a long section of black electrical tape - with occasional chalk smudges on it - in place of actual celluloid, was the audio portion.  There is the terse radio chatter of the various elements of the team who infiltrated the compound, the buzz/whine of helicopters flying overhead, and the sounds of hurried boots moving from place to place.

Movie Review: World War Z

World War Z (2013)

United Nations employee Gerry Lane traverses the world in a race against time to stop the Zombie pandemic that is toppling armies and governments, and threatening to destroy humanity itself.  Short synopsis of World War Z taken from IMDb.com

Remember when zombie films were low budget?   World War Z certainly isn't.  It globe trots mightily, staring on the East Coast of the U.S., then to a rain-soaked locale in South Korea (but it's dark there when our hero arrives - played affably by Brad Pitt - and so we never see anything other than a few people who appear Korean, so really this could have been filmed in Iowa for all we know), then to Israel, to Wales (I think it was supposed to be Wales... the scenes in Israel were so stunning, including the iconic human ladder of zombies up the wall - as seen in the trailer - that I missed where exactly we were going next), and finally to Nova Scotia (which also could have been anywhere, based on the ten seconds or so that we see it).  The travel budget for the film was definitely not cheap.  The aforementioned over-running of the safe zone in Israel alone must have cost a fortune to shoot.  Thus my previous statement about this not being a "low budget" zombie movie.

Movie Review: Captain Phillips

Captain Phillips (2013)

The true story of Captain Richard Phillips and the 2009 hijacking by Somali pirates of the US-flagged MV Maersk Alabama, the first American cargo ship to be hijacked in two hundred years.  Short synopsis of Captain Phillips taken from IMDB.com

Ever go to watch one of those films that you have heard is really good, and when you start viewing it, you know it is good, and yet you keep getting thrown off by outside disturbances?  As an example, you put down a kid for a nap and then, since you've got a free couple of hours, you sit down to watch a classic (for the sake of argument here, let's presume it's City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold - which many reputable critics have lauded as being better than the oft over-hyped Citizen Kane).  And just as the opening credits have run, the aforementioned kid starts to cry, so you interrupt what you are doing to take care of him/her.  You get done soothing and sit down on the sofa, and then the phone rings.  And then its something else.  By the time you usually would be cheering ecstatically as the zombies beat the cannibals in the basketball game's showdown overtime at the film's conclusion (I don't know what version of City Slickers 2 you watch...), you're only maybe half-way through, and you're stressed from the constant interruptions?

Movie Review: 47 Ronin

47 Ronin (2013)

A band of samurai set out to avenge the death and dishonor of their master at the hands of a ruthless shogun.  Short synopsis of 47 Ronin taken from IMDb.com

My newer reviews are all quite brief, I know.  That may be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your point-of-view.

I read reviews of 47 Ronin before seeing it that made me cross my fingers before actually viewing it.  But after watching the film, I must say it really wasn't that bad.  The story is really a classic "save the princess"-type tale.  Of course, at the end, before the credits roll, a message comes on screen which says the movie was "based upon" the story of the actual forty-seven ronin, which leads me to believe the story has been altered somewhat for its Hollywood-ization.  I am now curious as to how the story really goes.

Movie Review: Warm Bodies

Warm Bodies (2013)

After R (a highly unusual zombie) saves Julie from an attack, the two form a relationship that sets in motion a sequence of events that might transform the entire lifeless world.  Short synopsis of Warm Bodies taken from IMDb.com 

Got to go to the movies this past evening (when these notes were first written it was the past evening, but that's been many an evening past now, as you can tell).  It was tough to decide what to see.  Not that there are so many good things out right now, but more that there are so many un-inspiring options.  After careful debate, and looking up reviews on RottonTomatoes.com, I decided that the safest use of some theater gift card funds would be Warm Bodies, the recent take on the zombie apocalypse from a new perspective - i.e.: the zombie's point-of-view.

Movie Review: The Monuments Men

The Monuments Men (2014)

An unlikely World War II platoon is tasked to rescue art masterpieces from Nazi thieves and return them to their owners.  Short synopsis of The Monuments Men taken fromIMDB.com

The Monuments Men...  I liked it, especially since I am a History degree grad.  Those bombed out cities and authentic settings seemed jaw-dropping.  I only spotted one obvious matte painting.  Granted, my eyes aren't that good.  But all in all, the scenery was really 'purdy.'

Movie Review: The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger (2013)

Native American warrior Tonto recounts the untold tales that transformed John Reid, a man of the law, into a legend of justice.  Short synopsis of The Lone Ranger taken from IMDb/com

Won't bother too much with this one.  To be honest, I more listened to The Lone Ranger than I  actually watched it.  I lost interest after the train crash near the beginning.  There is a part of that scene where a giant steel appendage from the overturned locomotive snaps off and impales itself between our two would-be heroes, and then stops the sliding vehicle from crushing the two guys against an over-turned boxcar.  I thought to myself "It's gonna be one of those movies," and returned my primary attention to the model airplane I was working on (Christmas vacation 2013/2014 was the the winter break of model airplanes... yes, I'm a geek).

Movie Review: Lone Survivor

Lone Survivor (2013)


Marcus Luttrell and his team set out on a mission to capture or kill notorious Taliban leader Ahmad Shah, in late June 2005. Marcus and his team are left to fight for their lives in one of the most valiant efforts of modern warfare.  Short synopsis of Lone Survivor taken from IMDb.com  

Ouch. Those falls off those cliffs make my bones jar. When I reflect back on my watching of Lone Survivor, the film account (based on a true story) of the last stand of a team of special forces who were isolated and hunted down by the Taliban in the formidable mountains of Afghanistan, that is what comes to mind.  By way of explanation, when the special forces guys are running from the horde of Taliban fighters who are pursuing and hounding them with machine gun and rifle fire and rocket propelled grenades, there is a moment where the G.I.'s are trapped on a steep slope and the only way out is to jump down, falling, rolling, tumbling and crashing into rocks, trees and every hard bump on the way.  The film depicts this fall in gruesome detail.

Movie Review: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

The dwarves, along with Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf the Grey, continue their quest to reclaim Erebor, their homeland, from Smaug. Bilbo Baggins is in possession of a mysterious and magical ring.  Short synopsis of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug taken from IMDb.com

Well, Smaug himself I quite liked.  And The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug didn't feel like it was trying quite so hard, as the first Hobbit film in this new trilogy did.  But I must say that this one still did annoy me.  And like a broken record, I'll say that I can look at this movie, in hindsight now, in - surprise, surprise - two different ways.  On the one hand, Desolation is interesting, and manages to flesh out some stuff in Tolkien's novel that was kinda glossed over (like where Gandalf went off to, for one, though that part of the movie annoyed me due to its ret-conning things and making the Lord of the Rings trilogy of movies kinda anticlimactic as well...   for shame Mr. Jackson!). 

Movie Review: The Internship

The Internship (2013)

Two salesmen whose careers have been torpedoed by the digital age find their way into a coveted internship at Google, where they must compete with a group of young, tech-savvy geniuses for a shot at employment.  Short synopsis of The Internship taken from IMDb.com 

Watched this with my wife after renting it from Redbox.  She had seen the trailer for it and said it looked like a "Redbox watch," and now that I've seen it, I'm glad we waited.  The Internship would have been a  disappointing theater date night.

Movie Review: Thor - The Dark World

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

When Jane Foster is possessed by a great power, Thor must protect her from a new threat of old times: the Dark Elves.  Short synopsis of Thor: The Dark World taken from IMDb.com

Thor: The Dark World.  Not bad.  Not bad at all. 

Now, having said that, some overly involved background.  I am admittedly not a comic book guy, but I do enjoy movies made about characters from comic books.  I know nothing about Thor beyond the Norse legend, and even there, I am not particularly well-versed.  I have heard it said that Thor is Marvel's answer to DC Comics' Superman franchise.  Well I can tell you right now, if I judged each franchise based solely on the most recent films made from them, I'd think Thor was cool and Superman was a moody weirdo.

Movie Review: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)



Ten years after a pandemic disease, apes who have survived it are drawn into battle with a group of human survivors.  Short synopsis of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes taken from IMDb.com

So I kinda liked this film.  Which is funny, since I slept through it on my first attempt at viewing.  It was late, and I was tired, but I was going to try and watch it Saturday night around midnight-ish.  My, how times change.  When I was working night shift, I used to not start getting tired until around 3 AM or so.  Now I can't make it until... let me see, I lost track of the film's events somewhere around the twenty minute mark, so that'd be 12:20 or so.  Or earlier.  It wasn't later, as it wasn't THAT late when I awoke to the DVD menu music endlessly looping over and over, and stumbled upstairs to bed.  I watched it the next day from where I had lost track.

Movie Review: Argo

Argo (2012)

A dramatization of the 1980 joint CIA-Canadian secret operation to extract six fugitive American diplomatic personnel out of revolutionary Iran.  Short synopsis of Argo takenfrom IMDb.com

This will be a quick review.  Most people who are going to see this one have already done so, I'm sure.  It's been on DVD for some time.  Why hadn't I watched it yet, even though I heard it was really good from someone I consider to be a reliable source?  Well, I kind of wanted to read the book associated with it and then do a dual review.  But as I am so far behind on all my reviews, and my enthusiasm for getting caught up isn't quite what I wish it to be, I am going to just cut to the chase and do this one up.

Movie Review: The Maze Runner

The Maze Runner (2014)


Thomas is deposited in a community of boys after his memory is erased, soon learning they're all trapped in a maze that will require him to join forces with fellow "runners" for a shot at escape.  Short synopsis of The Maze Runner taken from IMDb.com  

To be honest...  I wouldn't have thought a film with such an interesting premise could be so...  uninteresting.  And predictable.  And have so little actual maze running!

Movie Review: The Equalizer

The Equalizer (2014)


A man believes he has put his mysterious past behind him and has dedicated himself to beginning a new, quiet life. But when he meets a young girl under the control of ultra-violent Russian gangsters, he can't stand idly by - he has to help her.  Short synopsis of The Equalizer taken from IMDb.com

I'm old enough to remember seeing the series The Equalizer on TV.  You know, I recall as a kid thinking that this particular vigilante crime drama was somewhat unique for its time.  Granted, it wasn't my favorite TV show, but I did like it.  So when I saw the previews for this modern take on the show, I was a bit excited.  And when I saw Denzel Washington was the lead, I was impressed.  After all, Denzel brings it.  He does earnest and dead-eyed real well.

So having seen the film, did I feel it did the idea justice?  Well, yes, and no. 

Movie Review: Fury

Fury (2014)


April, 1945. As the Allies make their final push in the European Theatre, a battle-hardened army sergeant named Wardaddy commands a Sherman tank and his five-man crew on a deadly mission behind enemy lines. Out-numbered, out-gunned, and with a rookie soldier thrust into their platoon, Wardaddy and his men face overwhelming odds in their heroic attempts to strike at the heart of Nazi Germany.  Short synopsis of Fury taken from IMDb.com

You know, I wanted Fury to be based on real events.  I'm not sure if it is, though I have heard of circumstances that are similar.  But the movie is so visceral and unrelenting, I kinda wanted it to have more than a passing touch of reality to go from. 

Movie Review: Big Hero 6

Big Hero 6 (2014)


The special bond that develops between plus-sized inflatable robot Baymax, and prodigy Hiro Hamada, who team up with a group of friends to form a band of high-tech heroes.  Short synopsis of Big Hero 6 taken from IMDb.com

So what else was there to see in the theater right now, besides kid flicks?  I could have gone to the latest Hobbit movie, but anyone who knows me or has read much of my reviews could tell you that wouldn't have happened.  I liked the Lord of the Rings trilogy, despite its flaws.  But after seeing Jackson and Del Toro's nuisance of a film, Desolation of Smaug, in the big box theater, I vowed I'd not be taken in again at that price.