Movie Review: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

The dwarves, along with Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf the Grey, continue their quest to reclaim Erebor, their homeland, from Smaug. Bilbo Baggins is in possession of a mysterious and magical ring.  Short synopsis of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug taken from IMDb.com

Well, Smaug himself I quite liked.  And The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug didn't feel like it was trying quite so hard, as the first Hobbit film in this new trilogy did.  But I must say that this one still did annoy me.  And like a broken record, I'll say that I can look at this movie, in hindsight now, in - surprise, surprise - two different ways.  On the one hand, Desolation is interesting, and manages to flesh out some stuff in Tolkien's novel that was kinda glossed over (like where Gandalf went off to, for one, though that part of the movie annoyed me due to its ret-conning things and making the Lord of the Rings trilogy of movies kinda anticlimactic as well...   for shame Mr. Jackson!). 

I'd say that I saw the influence of Del Toro too much in this film, and think the less of Desolation for it.  But as I noted right off, I did like Smaug himself.  He was almost what I imagine, when I picture the great dragon from the book.  But Legolas in The Hobbit?  No. And the CGI makeover to make him look younger and more elvish?  Yuck.  I say: if one person looks CGI, all should.  Better yet, none should.  They haven't broken the creepy barrier yet with near photo realistic human CGI faces yet, in this reviewer's opinion.  They still look...  well, creepy!

"I'm not even supposed to be in this story!"
 

Further, and this I did to myself because I read it in a review before seeing Desolation, it seems that better than half the film feels like "fan fiction."  They didn't even bother to make the dialogue sound particularly Tolkien-esque.  And the scene where our band of intrepid dwarves come up out of the lake into the town of Laketown via a toilet?  Hated it.  I wanted to yell at the screen: "What were you thinking?!" 

And then there was Smaug's last line, the last one of the film, I think?  Something about, "I AM DEATH!"  Maybe he'd say that in the novel, but I can't recall.  But the big crescendo build up surrounding his words just felt...  well, it seems like the filmmakers are really, REALLY trying to make the audience feel an emotional impact.  But for me, the whole thing is a bit shallow.  Though admittedly not as bad as the first one of this misbegotten movie series.  Cynical, I know, but I don't believe Mr. Tolkien would approve of how his masterwork has been treated by Messrs Jackson and Del Toro. 

A word of advance warning: This video clip contains some fairly crude language.  On the other hand, if you wanted to see everything wrong with the movie in only twelve-ish minutes...  On the nose.

So in reflection, I do regret seeing The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug for the price I paid (full ticket price at the big theater), though it wasn't entirely by choice and so I can give that.  Sadly, Desolation was the only thing playing that I was even remotely interested in seeing on a rare night off.  And gift-card users can't be choosers, to paraphrase the saying.  But it was not worth it, and I'd not mind one bit if somebody refunded both my gift card money and my time wasted.

The parting comment:

Source: LOLSnaps.com

I surprise myself at how often I warn people, especially women, to watch their step while texting and walking.  Humanitarian award, here I come.  And tell me, when did we all get so worried about not having enough time in the day to send funny cat pictures to each other, or tell the world what we had for lunch?